Starting off a new week with me is writer Nancy King. We’re chatting about her memoir, Breaking the Silence.
Bio:
Nancy King is a widely published author and a professor emerita at the University of Delaware, where she has taught theater, drama, playwriting, creative writing, and multidisciplinary studies with an emphasis on world literature. She has published seven previous works of nonfiction and five novels. Her new memoir, Breaking the Silence, explores the power of stories in healing from trauma and abuse. Her career has emphasized the use of her own experience in being silenced to encourage students to find their voices and to express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with authenticity, as a way to add meaning to their lives.
Welcome, Nancy. Please tell us a little bit about your book.
The book blurb:
Secrets. Lies. Silences. Stories told by parents and their families to protect themselves. A father who defends his wife despite her damage to their daughter’s health and welfare. A mother, shielded by her husband, who perpetuates murderous acts of violence against the daughter, and keeps secret her husband’s sexual “play” with the young girl.
And yet … Nancy King, determined to learn the truth of her childhood and the heartbreaking effects it has had on her adult life, uncovers the secrets. Sees through the lies. Breaks the silence.
Empowered by the stories she told herself as a child, she learns to use stories as part of her work as a university professor teaching theater, drama, world literature, and creative expression. Gradually, with the help of body work and therapy, she finds her voice. Says no to abuse and abusers. Reclaims herself and life. Writes a memoir.
She climbs mountains. Weaves tapestries. Writes books. Makes friends. Creates a meaningful life.
This is her story.
What inspired you to write this book?
Years ago I wrote a novel, Morning Light, that was somewhat autobiographical. Agents and editors said it was too dark. No one would want to read it. Against my better judgment and principles, I lightened it. Still too dark. Although I eventually found a publisher, he would only publish the lightened version. Five years ago, after spending four days and four nights in a vision quest to celebrate my 80th birthday, I came home expecting to write my sixth novel. What came out were stories of my life. No matter how I tried to write fiction, it was as if my psyche said: “No more fiction. Time to tell your truth. With the encouragement of a few early readers, I kept going, writing associatively, then sorting it all out chronologically so readers could read how I began to reclaim my life. I am a story teller. I wrote the stories of my life that I needed to tell. Parts of it are very dark and they are true. I wrote the memoir, Breaking the Silence, to encourage readers to understand the power of stories told about them, stories that are not necessarily true, to find the wherewithal to tell their own stories.
Excerpt from Breaking the Silence:
- Fishing
I want to go fishing but I’m not allowed to go to the big lake, and the lake near our bungalow doesn’t have a lot of fish. I ask two boys if they’ll come with me. “How are we gonna get to the lake?” one of them asks.
“We can hitch a ride.”
“No one’s gonna pick up two boys and a girl with fishing rods and stuff,” the other boy tells me.
I’m not fazed. “The two of you can hide in the bushes and when a car stops for me you can run out.”
“What if they don’t let us in the car?”
I lose patience. “Do you want to fish or don’t you?”
They do.
The three of us get ready—rods, bait, sandwiches, cookies, canteens full of water—and walk out to the main road, which is two miles from the bungalow colony where we live with our families each summer. I stand by myself. The boys hide in the bushes. When a car stops, I go over to the man and the boys run to the car.
The man laughs. “Good trick. I wouldn’t have stopped if there’d been three of you. Where are you going?”
“To the lake,” I say. “You’ll take us, won’t you?” I’m not proud. “Please!”
He nods. I get in the front; the two boys get in the back, carefully holding the three rods so they don’t poke anyone. It’s only a few miles to the lake, but that’s too far to walk with all our stuff.
I thank the man as the boys get out. The boys walk away and I run after them. “You should’ve thanked him,” I mutter. They don’t bother to respond.
Rowboats cost fifty cents an hour. We have enough money for two hours. I’ve been here with my father. I know where the good fishing spots are so I take the oars and row. It’s hard work but I don’t mind. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining. There’s no wind. The water is calm. The boys bait the hooks, happy to let me decide where we’ll fish.
We catch a lot of sunnies but they’re small—more bones than meat—so we throw them back. One of the boys hooks a largemouth bass but it gets away. We eat our sandwiches and cookies and share the water from the canteen. None of us catches a fish big enough to take home, which is just as well since my mother doesn’t know I’ve gone fishing.
When it’s time to row back, the boys take turns. I close my eyes and try to store up the peaceful feeling of being gently rocked by the water and the sound of oars splashing.
I ask a man who’s getting ready to leave the lake if he’ll take the three of us in his car. He’s willing, but he’s not going as far as we are. We decide to ride with him and walk the last four miles. Our gear is lighter than it was, and walking feels good.
When I return home, I put my equipment in the shed and think about the peaceful feelings in the boat. Before going into the house, I brace myself. I never know how my mother will treat me, but it’s good to be prepared for the worst. When I come into the kitchen, she yells angrily, “Where have you been all day?”
“Out,” I shrug.
“Wash your hands and set the table.”
The boys promised me they wouldn’t tell their parents. I can only hope they keep their promise. If they do, maybe we can go again.
What exciting project are you working on next?
Each month, available on my website, I select a world tale to retell and then write three stories based on my life experiences that emerge from the tale. I write them to encourage readers to reflect on their lives, the stories told about them, as well as the stories they tell about themselves. I also write pieces for the website: www.yourlifeisatrip.com
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I was told not to tell. No one ever told me not to write. I started writing stories as a young child. I wrote my first play in 4th grade, not that I planned to write a play, it happened because I wanted to try out for the role of Baby Jesus in the Christmas play. What could be better than lying on a soft bed being adored, but my father said: “No daughter of mine is going to play Jesus.” I argued. “We’re Jews. Jesus was a Jew.” No matter what I said the answer was no. I decided if I couldn’t be in the Christmas play, and there was no Chanukah play, I’d write one. Almost everyone in my school was Irish Catholic, but some kids in my class liked my play and agreed to be in it. Although I knew the power of words to hurt—people calling me a yid or a kike—this time I discovered the power of words to move people. I didn’t consider myself a writer—just a kid, then woman, who wrote—until my first book was published.
Do you write full-time? If so, what’s your work day like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find time to write?
For most of my adult life I was a professor, so I mostly wrote professional books and essays. During a very difficult time in my life, I discovered that I could write “popping out stories,” stories that I wrote by typing what came to mind with no prior planning or thought. From these stories I crafted a novel. When I quit teaching and moved to Santa Fe, I no longer focused on professional essays and books although I continued to write them. Instead, I began to write novels (five have been published) and then the memoir, Breaking the Silence. The only time I’ve ever written full time was when I was free from teaching and wrote during June, July, and August. Now, I write pieces, taking the time it takes to write them, but always thinking of the next world tale I’ll choose to tell and the stories evoked by the tale.
I need vigorous outdoor activity to maintain a sense of emotional well-being. Fortunately, I live in Santa Fe, close to many mountain trails, and hike three times a week, mostly by myself, as a kind of meditation. I’m a weaver who weaves wall hangings and I play the guitar. For the past 14 months I’ve been taking care of my cat, Mia Mitzvah, who was given a few days to live in September of 2020. Her life force is awe-inspiring.
What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
I write from a theatre in my head. I see, smell, feel, taste, touch what my characters are experiencing. I’m unable to outline or plot fiction so I write from a sense of wonder and curiosity, never knowing what will come next. The ending emerges organically.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
From the time I knew what it meant when people asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up,” I wanted to be a teacher so that the children in my class would have a safe, caring place to be for at least part of their lives. I never wanted to be anything other than a teacher. For the past 70 years I’ve taught all ages, in a variety of situations, both in the US and abroad—including 34 years as a professor at the University of Delaware, first in the Theatre Department teaching theatre and writing and directing plays, then in the Honors Program where I taught world literature and creative approaches to writing.
Anything additional you want to share with the readers?
As a young child I experienced difficult, painful times—my mother was murderously violent and my father was sexually obsessed with me. I was sent away from home three times, once for almost a year, before the age of five. To comfort myself I tried to find a place away from people and then told myself stories. I was always the heroine who saved children from catastrophes. As I grew up, I discovered people liked to hear me tell stories and I learned that stories beget stories. People told me the stories I told and wrote helped them to discover their own stories, to know they were not alone, that stories have the power to heal and connect—to ourselves and others.
Thank you for being here today, Nancy.
— Blog Tour Calendar
November 29th @ The Muffin
Join us at The Muffin for an author interview, giveaway, and blog tour launch post for Nancy King’s Memoir “Breaking the Silence” https://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
November 30th @ Mindy McGinnis
Mindy McGinnis interviews Nancy King about her recently published memoir “Breaking the Silence”. Don’t miss this engaging interview! https://www.mindymcginnis.com/blog
December 8th @ Lost Wisp of Cosmic Dust
Sreevarsha Sreejith shares her review of Nancy King’s memoir “Breaking the Silence”. Stop by Instagram to learn more! https://www.instagram.com/lostwispofcosmicdust/
December 9th @ KnottyNeedle Creative
Judy reviews and shares her thoughts after reading “Breaking the Silence” by Nancy King. Find out what she thinks about this recently released memoir. https://bootsshoesandfashion.com/
December 10th @ Madeline Sharples Choices
Fellow memoirist Madeline Sharples spotlights Nancy King’s “Breaking the Silence” on her blog today. Readers will be inspired by this newly released memoir! http://madelinesharples.com/
December 13th HERE!
December 16th @ Word Magic: All About Books
Today’s book spotlight at Word Magic is Nancy King’s memoir “Breaking the Silence”. Readers will also hear from Wisconsin student Carmen Otto as she shares her thoughts after reading this insightful story. http://fionaingramauthor.blogspot.com/
December 17th @ Bring on Lemons with Crystal Otto
WOW!’s very own Crystal Otto shares her insight into the beautiful and inspiring memoir, “Breaking the Silence” by Nancy King. http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
December 20th @ Author Anthony Avina’s Blog
Author Anthony Avina spotlight’s the newly released memoir “Breaking the Silence” by Nancy King. Find out more about this moving memoir and it’s inspiring author today! https://authoranthonyavinablog.com/
December 24th @ The Faerie Review
Lily at the Faerie Review shares her book review of “Breaking the Silence” by Nancy King. This is a memoir about a mountain climbing author who has inspired many (despite all odds)! https://www.thefaeriereview.com/
December 26th @ Author Anthony Avina’s Blog
Author Anthony Avina reviews “Breaking the Silence” by Nancy King. Find out more about this moving memoir and Anthony’s thoughts after reading it! https://authoranthonyavinablog.com/
December 27th @ Christy Flutterby
Fellow author Christy O’Callaghan reviews Nancy King’s “Breaking the Silence” and shares her thoughts with readers on her blog. Find out more about this moving memoir and it’s resilient author! https://christyflutterby.com/
December 28th @ Bring on Lemons with Michelle DelPonte
Wisconsin mother and healthcare worker Michelle DelPonte couldn’t wait to get her hands on Nancy King’s memoir “Breaking the Silence”. Today Michelle will share her review of this touching memoir. Stop at Bring on Lemons to learn more! http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/
January 1st @ Boots Shoes and Fashion
Readers at Boots Shoes and Fashion will be enlightened as Linda interviews Nancy King about her newly released memoir “Breaking the Silence”. Don’t miss an opportunity to learn from someone who has overcome the odds! https://bootsshoesandfashion.com/
January 2nd @ Linda Appleman Shapiro
Fellow memoirist Linda Appleman Shapiro hosts Nancy King and “Breaking the Silence” as today’s feature book on her blog! http://applemanshapiro.com/category/book-reviews/
Thank you so much for this interview and posting about my memoir, Breaking the Silence. I so appreciate the opportunity you’ve made possible. I hope readers will think about the stories they tell themselves, the stories told about them. Stories shape our identity. It matters that we tell our stories.