Writer Jesse René Gibbs chats with me about her biography/memoir, Girl Hidden.
During her virtual book tour, Jesse will be giving away a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble (winner’s choice) gift card to a randomly drawn winner. To be entered for a chance to win, use the form below. To increase your chances of winning, feel free to visit her other tour stops and enter there, too!
Bio:
Jesse Rene Gibbs, author of Girl Hidden, is now in plain sight having published her heart wrenching memoir that details an upbringing so unbelievable that even the most resilient among us will find it disturbing.
The fact that Jesse lived to tell her story is remarkable. She was born in Rota, Spain, July of 1977, the daughter of Navy officer Dolores Wood, who had had six abortions in the states before Jesse arrived, unwanted. Back in the U.S., her mother put her up for adoption and when that didn’t materialize, Jesse was shuffled off to one of her aunts. Shortly afterwards she was legally adopted by her grandparents who lived in Washington state.
Then Dolores got married, started having a family, and wanted sole custody of Jesse. Jesse’s grandfather complied much to the dismay of her grandmother, and Jesse went to live with the Taylors in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, with her charismatic, narcissist mother and a manipulative stepfather who regularly molested her under the guise of love. When Jesse’s grandmother learned of the abuse, she flew to North Carolina and kidnapped Jesse. A year and half later, Jesse’s mother and a friend abducted seven-year-old Jesse, taking her across state lines and involving the FBI, which lost track of her in the Atlanta airport. At this point in her young life, Jesse suffered memory loss, a trauma response to having been kidnapped a second time.
When the police finally figured out where the Taylors lived and showed up with sirens blaring, Jesse was tossed out a window into a neighbor’s arms and passed around to different houses to keep her hidden for more than two years. Finally, back with the Taylors, she grew up in a purity culture and played the caretaker of her mother and siblings, sacrificing her own emotional well-being and essentially became a martyr, hoping to create a healthier, less toxic home environment.
There were a few magical moments in Jesse’s life in the mountains of North Carolina that she was able to hold onto, which, fortunately, kept her spirit alive: dancing her heart out to the Beach Boys at nine years old and caring for the farm animals, among them.
At nineteen, Jesse escaped to Chicago and ended up at Jesus People USA (JPUSA), a Christian intentional community in Uptown, on the North Side of Chicago, where she lived for twelve years and married one of the residents. Her ten-year marriage to Leonard dissolved in an abusive affair.
Today, Jesse lives happily outside of Seattle, Washington, with her husband whom she met blues dancing. Her best friend, June, who had been through many traumatic years with her, lives close by. Jesse has her own graphic design firm, Esperluette Creative, which focuses on helping real estate agents grow their business and showcase their inventory in unique and innovative ways. When not involved in brand strategies for her clients, Jesse likes to explore other creative outlets including painting. And she still loves to dance!
Welcome, Jesse. Please tell us about your current release. (blurb)
Jesse Rene Gibbs grew up in a deeply damaging purity culture on a farm in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. At the beginning of her life, she lived with loving grandparents who adored her until her narcissistic mother decided that she wanted a personal servant and kidnapped Jesse from them in broad daylight. Jesse lost most of her memory shortly thereafter.
Jesse’s life became a living nightmare, tending to her always pregnant mother and multiple siblings, cooking meals, washing clothes, taking care of the farm animals, and dodging advances from her molester, her stepfather. Jesse’s memoir is a tale of growing up with no one to count on but herself.
When Jesse left home at nineteen and joined an inner-city commune in Chicago, her younger siblings whom she adored thought she would return in a few weeks. She didn’t see them and wasn’t allowed to speak with them for nearly twenty years. Letters Jesse wrote were cut up and sent back as were Christmas and birthday presents. Her mother, a blend of rage, disappointment, and religious command, was filling their heads with lies: Jesse didn’t love them anymore, she was demon-possessed, and more.
It took the author twenty-five years to write Girl Hidden, a roller coaster ride into the depths of evil. Throughout the book, readers will find a love letter or post card from Jesse’s stepfather who treated her like his girlfriend, a notice from the judge in North Carolina, letters from Dolores’s own hand and from parole officers, and a myriad of other documents.
She began writing her story as therapy, culling much information from the journals her grandmother meticulously kept, realizing that one day her granddaughter would want to know the true story in full measure. Through extensive research and piecing together timelines, Jesse ultimately decided to publish in the hopes that other abused children would connect to some of their own trauma and see that it is survivable, that there is beauty and magic in even the darkest of places.
Girl Hidden is the elegantly written story of an unwanted child, born nonetheless and forced into servitude, desperate to protect her siblings and find her way out from under the vicious, manipulative abuses heaped on her by the one person who was supposed to love her unconditionally: her mother.
What inspired you to write this book?
The book Girl Hidden tells the story of my life, which was my primary motivation for writing it. Remaining authentic to my own experiences was paramount. Rather than writing in the first person, which I personally find less enjoyable to read, I opted for the challenge of writing in the third person. As I wrote, I realized that the story was becoming a survivor’s guide for others who have faced abuse or narcissistic relationships. This transformation added a new dimension to the book, making it a resource for those who have gone through similar experiences.
Excerpt from Girl Hidden:
As she sat in the backseat, her face felt hot. Jesse’s dark hair matched her eyes, which peered out the window as Chicago flew by. She breathed in and out slowly. At least that still worked. The way that her insides were churning she felt sure that her intestines were trying to crawl out of her throat. She looked nice enough: trim though curvy at almost nineteen years old, although she had lost quite a bit of weight to stress over the last week.
Jesse was dressed nicely, in a soft sage romper with black embroidery around the collar, and black ankle boots. Her makeup was put together; but one look at the shadows around her eyes revealed the truth: her insides didn’t match her outsides.
Her stepfather, Robert, sighed. They were less than a foot apart in the backseat and the silence filled the space between them. He considered that he’d probably known for years that she was not happy, but this was just a ridiculous course of action.
Tucked into the backseat, Robert felt his height even more. He felt too big to be allowed. He looked out the window as his auburn hair reflected in the sunlight. He scratched his unshaven face and ran a rough hand over his mustache. Rubbing his eyes to keep himself from crying, he faced the window and wondered yet again what they were doing here.
Walter Allen sat in the driver’s seat navigating the car that was taking them all deeper into the heart of the city. He looked in the rearview mirror at his friend, the crinkles around his eyes showing off his worry. His salt-and-pepper hair and goatee told his age far better than his baby face.
His bride of twenty-five years, Marysue, sat beside him holding his hand. Her hair was currently dyed a shocking shade of orange and cut into a mullet. She wore a myriad of colorful skirts and had at least the same number of piercings. She was prattling good-naturedly, regarding how good this was for everyone and how everything was going to work out, while holding her husband’s hand. Her green eyes sparkled just talking about the adventure they were about to have.
What exciting project are you working on next?
Although I’ve spent twenty-five years completing this book and it required a lot of hard work, I’m not currently planning to continue writing. However, I’m interested in sharing June’s story in the future, but I haven’t made any definite plans yet. I may need to take a break before deciding to write again. Ultimately, writing is a journey, and this one has been a long and rewarding one for me.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I’ve always just been a writer and great storyteller. Between my mother being a charismatic narcissist who could make a tall tale from nothing and my grandfather being a great fisherman, I came by storytelling naturally. The challenge was how to make the story REAL while also being interesting and engaging. I wrote the book in third person because that’s how I love to read books, which adds another layer of challenge when writing a memoir.
Do you write full-time? If so, what’s your workday like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find time to write?
I own my own little graphic design firm and that’s my full-time job. Well, full-time and then some. I wrote Girl Hidden in my spare time with the help of my best friend June. She walked with me through every step, helped me do a metric ton of research and encouraged me to keep writing my story. She believed that this story needed to be told and she kept me motivated.
What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
Oh, that’s a great question. I would say that I write from my emotions first. If I don’t FEEL the story, I can’t tell the story.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I didn’t have the option to consider that. I was told, thanks to purity culture and my upbringing, that I was going to be a wife and mother. That was my only option. I didn’t start considering who or what I wanted to be until well into my thirties. I was helping a friend organize his office; he was the editor for Photo Media magazine, and he asked if I wanted to see their newest layout. I asked him how he designed everything, and he was like “uh, I hire a graphic designer to come in and create our layouts.” I was in awe. You could get paid to design things? Three weeks later I started the graphic design program at the Art Institute of Seattle and the rest is history.
Anything additional you want to share with the readers?
A lot of people ask how I met June, my bestie. She’s in the book a lot and she is my rock. She makes me believe in love at first sight.
June was seventeen when she came to visit her big brother at the inner-city commune where I lived at the time. Her dad was getting remarried and was just done being a parent, so he gave her a one-way ticket to Chicago and basically kicked her out. June’s big brother was friends with my now ex-husband, so I did him a favor and picked her up from the airport the day she arrived. By the time we got to baggage claim we were best friends. We found out several years later that our grandparents had been friends for thirty years, but we had never met. We were just meant to find each other.
Links:
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Thanks for hosting!
Sounds like a good read.
The story sounds really interesting.
Thank you for hosting my blog tour!! I am so blessed!
The book sounds very intriguing. Love the cover.