Novelist Lisa May Bennett is chatting with me today about her memoir, My Unfurling: Emerging from the Grip of Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Drinking.
Lisa May is touring with Wow! Women on Writing. Full tour information is below so you can check out other tour stops, if you like!
Bio:
Lisa May Bennett is the author of the memoir My Unfurling: Emerging from the Grip of Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Drinking. She had a flourishing career in marketing and communications for more than two decades before finally embracing sobriety and chasing her dream of becoming an author. Her upcoming book will demystify the self-publishing process, and she hopes to encourage more people to tell and publish their own stories.
Welcome, Lisa May. Please tell us about your current release.
My memoir examines how anxiety and self-doubt led me to start drinking in my teens and to continue drinking for decades before finally deciding to quit. My Unfurling explores my complicated relationship with my mother, the “casual bullying” that came with being a late bloomer, my close friendships, and my search for validation through love and work. Fortunately, I didn’t need to hit a dramatic rock bottom in order to realize that alcohol was getting in the way of my leading a fuller life. My sobriety made My Unfurling possible, and writing this book helped me heal old wounds and break longstanding patterns.
What inspired you to write this book?
I’ve wanted to be a published author since I was 11 years old but drinking and self-doubt got in the way. In my early 50s, I decided it was “now or never.” I needed to find out if I could have that writing career after all. As soon as I quit drinking in 2017, I started working on an earlier version of the book. I was still early in my sobriety, and didn’t feel very confident yet, so I put away my work-in-progress for a while. In 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, I picked it back up again. At first, I was just writing for me, to help sort out where I had gone astray. Then, after about a year of hard work, I decided that I was ready to share my story with the world. My goal was to let others know that they’re not alone and that it’s not too late to make a positive change in your life.
Excerpt from My Unfurling:
From Introduction:
I am curled up in the back seat of my car. Beads of sweat cover my face, and I’m trembling. A stabbing pain slices through my gut. The car door by my head is slightly ajar because I might need to lean out and hurl at any second. How much time has gone by since I darted out of the office? Have my coworkers noticed that I’m missing? I am ashamed and furious with myself. Here I am in my late forties, and I still drink enough— on a work night no less—to cause debilitating hangovers. At any age, this predicament would be embarrassing. At middle age, it’s a big neon sign screaming, “Something’s got to change!”
How did I get here? I used to pose that question whenever I disappointed myself. Hangovers were not the only occasion for such self-flagellation. Lying around all weekend watching TV and scrolling on my phone or letting another gym membership lapse made me wonder why I was so weak-willed. Reading a book by a gifted author reminded me that I was falling short of my potential—or, even worse, that I had overestimated my potential in the first place.
The question of how I got there was rhetorical. I wanted to wallow in self-loathing and pity; the trickier task of real introspection was not so enticing.
A couple of years after that hellacious hangover (and other subsequent benders), I decided to make some changes. I launched a blog. Started moving my body more. Stopped drinking. Looked around for adventure. Signed up for a pricey six-month class to push myself to write.
After decades of being tightly wound, I was going through an unfurling, and it was exhilarating. I danced in the kitchen. Woke up at five o’clock in the morning to write. Tried aerial yoga, zip-lining, Pilates, and flotation therapy. I was alive and hungry and happy.
What exciting story are you working on next?
My next book is about the self-publishing process. I really enjoyed learning how to publish and market my book, and I’m eager to spread my enthusiasm around. I believe our society can benefit from more people telling their stories. Many aspiring authors do want to self-publish, but it can seem intimidating—and I don’t blame them for feeling overwhelmed. My book is designed to inspire them to take that plunge, and it provides a helpful summary of the steps that are involved.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I started writing stories when I was a kid, and I wrote my first “book” at the age of 11. It was the tale of two baby friends who ran away and went on an adventure. My mom was so proud that she took it to work, photocopied it, and passed around to her co-workers. I was hooked! But I wasn’t sure that I was truly a writer until my freshman year of college, when my writing professor chose my first writing assignment as one of the few assignments that he read in front of our class. That was when I thought maybe I had a chance at a career in writing.
Do you write full-time? If so, what’s your work day like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find time to write?
Currently I work from home part-time as a marketing consultant, and I am also a caregiver for my mom, which is like a part-time job itself. I tend to write in bursts, especially when I’m on deadline—though most of that pressure is self-imposed. I’m trying to be more consistent with my writing, because I really do plan to have a long and prolific career to make up for lost time. I tried writing early in the morning, and that didn’t work for me. I like writing on weekend mornings, and right now I’m writing on a Wednesday night. But I definitely need to create better habits around my writing.
What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
I have lots of quirks! I have a tendency to overuse certain words—there’s a long list of them saved on my computer, and I’m noticing and adding new words to it all the time. At the end of my second or third edit of My Unfurling, I went through the entire manuscript and searched for each of these overused words. I wrote down how many times I used them on each page and marked off each time I eliminated one. I also had to search for the replacement words to make sure those weren’t overused as well. This kind of project appeals to my obsessive nature, but it sure eats up a lot of time.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Back in the early 1970s, before I knew that I wanted to be a writer, ecology was a big deal. So, I thought I wanted to become an ecologist. I don’t think I had any idea what that would entail (I’m still not sure), but it sounded cool at the time. I remember telling a neighbor that I wanted to be an ecologist, and she told me that girls were supposed to be teachers or nurses—not scientists! I ran home to tell my grandmother how shocked I was by this woman’s pronouncement. Eventually, I did consider becoming a teacher, and I even changed my major in college to education for one semester, but I went back to creative writing.
Anything additional you want to share with the readers?
Once my second book is published, I’m hoping to switch back to fiction writing—my first love. I would love to build a career going back and forth between fiction and nonfiction. Over the past couple decades, I’ve come up with a bunch of movie ideas, which all live inside my head, and I’m considering turning them into books instead! I do hope that readers will sign up for my email newsletter to get updates about my upcoming projects; if they do, they’ll also receive access to bonus chapters from My Unfurling.
Links:
Website | Facebook | Instagram | TikTok | MyBook | Twitter
Purchase a copy of My Unfurling on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Bookshop.org. You can also add this to your Goodreads reading list.
Blog Tour Calendar
October 30th @ The Muffin
Join us at WOW while we celebrate the launch of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. Read an interview with the author and enter for your chance to win a copy of her book. https://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com
October 30th @ Book Q&As
Visit Deborah’s blog for a Q&A with author Lisa May Bennett. http://deborahkalbbooks.blogspot.com/
November 2nd @ A Slice of Life
Visit Linda’s blog for a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about being a caregiver for an aging parent while trying to stay sober. https://lindahoye.com/
November 3rd @ The Faerie Review
Lily shares a spotlight of My Unfurling on her blog. https://www.thefaeriereview.com/
November 5th @ A Storybook World
Join Deirdra for her spotlight of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. https://www.astorybookworld.com/
November 7th @ Sweet Silly Sara
Visit Sara’s blog for her review of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. https://www.sweetsillysara.com/
November 10th @ Chapter Break
Visit Julie’s blog for a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about how her writing deepened and solidified her sobriety. https://chapterbreak.net
November 11th @ A Wonderful World of Books
Visit Joy’s blog for a spotlight of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. https://awonderfulworldofwordsa.blogspot.com/
November 13th HERE!
November 15th @ Freeing the Butterfly
Visit Michelle’s blog featuring a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about how anxiety played a part on her reliance on alcohol. https://www.freeingthebutterfly.com/blog
November 17th @ World of My Imagination
Visit Nicole’s blog for a review of My Unfurling. https://worldofmyimagination.com
November 18th @ Book Room Review
Don’t miss a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about how being sober has helped her build self confidence and pursue my dreams. http://www.bookroomreviews.com/
November 20th @ Word Magic
Join Fiona’s blog for a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about why your life doesn’t have to be completely falling apart in order to benefit from giving alcohol the boot. https://fionaingramauthor.blogspot.com/
November 23rd @ Cheryl M-M’s Book Blog
Visit Cheryl’s blog for her review of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. https://mmcheryl.wordpress.com/
November 25th @ A Wonderful World of Books
Don’t miss a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about breaking old patterns and talking back to the voices inside her head. https://awonderfulworldofwordsa.blogspot.com/
November 27th @ Jenny Bilskie Smith
Visit Jenny’s Instagram page for her review of My Unfurling. https://www.instagram.com/jenny_bilskie_smith/
November 28th @ Writer Advice
B. Lynn Goodwin shares her review of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. https://writeradvice.com/
November 29th @ World of My Imagination
Visit Nicole’s blog for a guest book reviewer who will be sharing their thoughts about Lisa May Bennett’s memoir My Unfurling. https://worldofmyimagination.com/
November 30th @ The Mommies Reviews
Glenda reviews My Unfurling, a memoir by Lisa May Bennett. http://www.themommiesreviews.com/
December 1st @ Fancy That!
Visit Nicole’s blog for a guest post by Lisa May Bennett about going sober in middle age after decades of drinking. https://fancythatblog.com
December 3rd @ Nita Sweeney’s blog
Join Nita for her review of My Unfurling by Lisa May Bennett. https://nitasweeney.com/