Writer Debbie Chein Morris chats with me today about her memoir, We Used to Dance: Loving Judy, My Disabled Twin.
Bio:
Born in the Bronx, NY, Ms. Morris lived on Long Island (Plainview) for most of her adult life. The youngest (she was born five minutes after her twin sister) of four children, family has always been important to her. Married for forty-four years and since widowed, she is mother to three wonderful sons, two amazing daughters-in-law, and an adorable granddaughter. Ms. Morris worked in the field of early childhood education, receiving master’s degrees from Queens College, Hofstra University, and Bank Street College of Education. Her work included classroom teacher to preschool and kindergarten children and reading teacher to kindergarteners needing extra support. Ms. Morris is retired and loves to read, take walks in nature, solve NY Times crossword puzzles, and knit blankets for charity. She currently resides in Mt. Kisco, NY, with her partner.
Welcome, Debbie. Please tell us about your current release.
The book is a memoir about my severely disabled twin sister being placed in a nursing home after having lived in our family home for 53 years. I share my feelings about Judy being in the home and also go back in time to happier days we spent together.
What inspired you to write this book?
When Judy went into the home, I started a group email to friends and some family members so that I wouldn’t have to repeat my story each day when anyone asked for updates. The most important members of my family, my nearly-adult children, were not included in the emails. At the time, I was afraid I would be burdening them with my struggles. Later, realizing that was a poor decision, I wanted a way to share my experiences with them that didn’t involve sitting down and talking which, at that point, could never have done the story justice. In the meantime, while reading the emails, one of the recipients was impressed by my writing and commented that I should publish. By the time I was emotionally able to sit down and turn my email journal into a book, I was ready to share my story not only with my children, but with others who might benefit in some way from reading what I had to say.
Excerpt from We Used to Dance:
We had spent nearly nine months together, my sister and I, cramped within that small space. And when the time finally arrived for us to enter the world, after positioning ourselves for our arrival, she dropped down in front of me and emerged feet-first, the cord wrapped around her tiny neck. That only added insult to the already existing injury; there was evidence that her cord had not been healthy, and she may have been deprived of oxygen even before that moment. Whisked away to intensive care and remaining there even after I was taken home, it wasn’t clear if she would live to join me and our two brothers. But she did survive and, once she had stabilized, the doctors sent her home, knowing there was damage but unsure of the extent. Only time would reveal the answer to that question. And time, as it turned out, was not our friend. (We Used to Dance, p.1)
What exciting project are you working on next?
I’ve begun work on another memoir, about another family member.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I’ve always considered myself a writer. In school, I much hoped for essay tests because they allowed me to share my knowledge and thoughts in a way that is impossible in multiple choice tests. I’ve journaled at different times throughout my life and always felt that I expressed myself better in writing than orally. Even now, I prefer texts and emails to phone calls.
Do you write full-time? If so, what’s your workday like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find time to write?
I am a retired teacher and have lots of free time but do not write full-time. Mostly, I zoom with friends, read, take long walks with my partner, am part of a volunteer group that knits blankets and baby items for needy families in Westchester County, involve myself in learning opportunities provided by my synagogue, write in my journal, do the NYTimes crossword puzzles, and visit with family. It’s actually difficult, sometimes, to find the time to write and I have to make it a priority and just sit down and get started.
What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
I am a stickler for grammar and even my journal entries have to be grammatically correct, no typos, and proper punctuation included.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I didn’t have a particular profession in mind when I was a young child. As a teenager, I thought about becoming a physical therapist, working with disabled children. Unfortunately I wasn’t very good at memorizing information and I thought that’s what science was all about, so I shied away from those classes. That eliminated physical the therapy field. Ultimately, I became an early childhood classroom teacher and ended my career teaching reading to struggling kindergartners.
Anything additional you want to share with the readers?
Just that I love to travel and recently returned from a car trip around Lake Superior (referred to as The Circle Tour). It’s a great trip, full of beautiful views of the lake, many waterfalls, canyons, and others places of interest. Well worth the trip! Other favorite travel adventures I’ve had include Australia, New Zealand, and Israel. Hope to go back to all of them!