Today’s special guest is award-winning author Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.d. to chat about her new non-fiction self-help book, The Unshakeable Road to Love (Value Centered Relationships).
Brenda is at the start of a tour with WOW! Women on Writing. Tour stops are listed below. Feel free to check them out!
Bio:
Brenda Shoshanna is a psychologist, award winning author, speaker and long-term Zen practitioner. Her work integrates the teachings and practices of East and West and how to make them real in your everyday life. She is also an Interfaith Counsellor and has offered over five hundred talks and workshops on all aspects of personal and spiritual development and living an authentic life. Her weekly podcast, Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life, has been going on for over five years.
Welcome, Brenda. Please tell us about your current release.
The Unshakeable Road to Love (Value Centered Relationships) is based upon eternal principles from all world scriptures including Zen. These principles guide us in building a foundation for our relationships where happiness and well-being are inevitable. And where upset, loneliness and conflict can dissolve on the spot.
A radically different approach to psychology, the material offers a completely new perspective on what is needed in relationships. The book explores the difference between Real and Counterfeit Love and shows how all pain in relationships is due to being caught in Counterfeit Love.
The eternal principles are called Pillars of Love. A fundamental Pillar of Love in the book is: You Do Not Have To Be Loved To Be Happy – You Have To Learn What It Means To Be Loving.
Along with many Pillars of Love, the book includes Turning Points, enjoyable exercises and specific interventions which allow the reader to practice the teachings in all their relationships, day by day.
What inspired you to write this book?
During Covid and the aftermath, there was an additional epidemic of loneliness, upset, and broken relationships. I deeply felt the need to share these eternal relationship principles so that people could learn specific, easy and enjoyable ways of healing and moving forward.
Excerpt from The Unshakeable Road to Love:
Undoing Counterfeit Love
We all want love. Then, when we get it, we become afraid and start to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand, we are searching for love, searching for some lasting relationship. On the other hand, we are relieved when the person goes away. It always “seems” as if relationships are difficult. They are difficult to find, difficult to keep and difficult to enjoy.
Yet, the fundamental truth is: There is no inherent problem with relationships at all.
There Is Never a Scarcity of Relationships – Love Is Our Natural Condition. What is it that keeps us from this love we are so hungry for?
Finding the Perfect Person
The most common answer to this question is that first we must find The Perfect Person. There is always something wrong with the people we meet. We have not yet found the “right” person, who can make us really happy. Or, if we have found The Perfect Person, they have now left us, and we believe nobody will ever take their place again. At this point we still believe that another person can make us happy. About to take our journey, we may wonder how to find the right partner to travel with. Without someone beside us, we may feel empty and alone.
The Craving to Be Loved
Most are unhappy in relationships because they crave to be loved, to have their sense of self-importance affirmed. This is a quest for validation in the eyes of another. If this approval is not forthcoming, they feel like failures. Their very sense of who they are becomes tied to the moods and behavior of others. This orientation will never bring balance or a true sense of worth.
However, most of us feel that to be happy we must be approved of, receive praise and recognition. But even when we receive a great deal of approval for a period of time, when it is gone, the craving for it grips us once again.
This is not because there is something wrong with us. It is simply due to the fact that we have not yet understood the true nature of love. We’re caught in a maze of mirages, under the grip of Counterfeit Love.
What exciting story are you working on next?
I have just completed an Inspirational Memoir entitled A Flash of Lightning. I am also working on new short stories, a blog, and a series of books and articles based upon my podcast Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life.My Blog is called Turn the Page.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
In Junior High school my English teacher really enjoyed something I wrote, turned to me and said, “You’re A Writer.” I smiled and agreed.. Haven’t stopped writing since.
Do you write full-time? If so, what’s your work day like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find time to write?
I’ve never stopped writing, it’s another form of breathing for me. I write in the mornings, after doing zazen. (zen meditation, for years). I am also an award winning playwright, was playwright in residence at Ensemble Studio Theater, NY and Jewish Repertory Theater.
Along with being a writer, I raised a family, and worked for years as a psychologist and speaker, offering many workshops. I did all this by getting up extra early in the morning, before anyone was awake, and taking a few hours for myself.
What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
When anything upsets me, I immediately see it as a play, or story and the sting goes away. Often I laugh. It’s the larger perspective on the event that helps so much and puts it into a meaningful context.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be an actress, and that morphed into a playwright. A little later on I developed an intense interest in philosophy and wanted to study and teach it. I’m happy now to be a writer, where everything can be included.
Anything additional you want to share with the readers?
Writing is a gift that keeps giving, not only to others, but to you as well. If even a few people read and benefit from your offering the world is not the same. You never know who you are touching and how they are effecting others. Just keep going. There’s no way to fail.
Visit my blog, my website, or the book website. Purchase a copy of The Unshakeable Road to Love on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. You can also add this to your Goodreads reading list.
Blog Tour Calendar
August 28th @ The Muffin
Join us as we celebrate the launch of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. We interview the author and give you a chance to win a copy of the book for yourself. https://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com
August 30th @ Create Write Now
Visit Mari’s blog for a guest post by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about what is a true conversation. https://www.createwritenow.com/journal-writing-blog
August 30th HERE!
September 1st @ Word Magic
Join Fiona who shares a guest post by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about the simple laws of love. https://fionaingramauthor.blogspot.com/
September 5th @ Choices
Madeline shares a guest post by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about the end of loneliness. https://www.madelinesharples.com/
September 10th @ A Storybook World
Join Deirdra’s blog for a guest post by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about the difference between real love and counterfeit love. https://www.astorybookworld.com/
September 10th @ Just Katherine
Join Katherine’s blog featuring an excerpt from Dr. Shoshanna’s book The Unshakeable Road to Love. https://justkatherineblog.wordpress.com/
September 13th @ Katherine Itacy’s blog
Join Katherine for her review of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. https://katherineitacy.com/
September 15th @ The Faerie Review
Don’t miss Lily’s review of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. https://www.thefaeriereview.com/
September 18th @ Thoughts of Maddness
Visit Maddie’s blog for her review of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. https://maddiegudenkauf.com/thoughts-of-maddness
September 19th @ Just Katherine
Join Katherine again for a guest post by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about how to dissolve conflict and pain in relationships on the spot. https://justkatherineblog.wordpress.com/
September 20th @ Author Anthony Avina’s blog
Join Anthony for his feature of an excerpt from The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. https://authoranthonyavinablog.com/category/blog-tours/
September 22nd @ My Beauty, My Books
Join Nikki for her review of The Unshakeable Road to Love and the chance to read an excerpt of the book. https://mybeautymybooks.com/
September 25th @ School Librarian In Action
Join Zarah for her review of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. https://lovealibrarian.blogspot.com/
September 29th @ The Frugalista Mom
Join Rochie’s blog for her review of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. https://thefrugalistamom.com/
September 30th@ Jill Sheets’ blog
Visit Jill’s blog for her review of The Unshakeable Road to Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna. http://jillsheets.blogspot.com/
October 1st @ Jill Sheets’ blog
Jill interviews author Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about her book The Unshakeable Road to Love. http://jillsheets.blogspot.com/
October 1st @ Boots, Shoes and Fashion
Join Linda for her fascinating interview with Dr. Brenda Shoshanna about her book The Unshakeable Road to Love. https://bootsshoesandfashion.com/
