Special excerpt from Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child

kicking off a new month and new week with a special excerpt from the
non-fiction parenting book, Beyond
Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated

Tara Woods Turner and J. Blake Turner, PhD.
their virtual book tour, the authors
will be awarding a $15 Amazon or Barnes and Noble (winner’s
choice) gift card to a lucky randomly drawn winner. To be entered for a chance
to win, use the form below. To increase
your chances of winning, feel free to visit their other tour stops and enter
there, too.
A little
bit about the book:
the key to creating a cultivated life for your child with this targeted
parenting guide. You will learn how to raise an engaging, accomplished and
sophisticated child, one who gets noticed for all the right reasons. From fine
dining, travel and art appreciation to navigating social media with integrity –
Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child will show you how to
take your child to the next level. Whether your child is 5 or 15 this is the
one book you will reference time and again for advice and techniques that are
relevant, practical and insightful.
Excerpt from Beyond Good Manners:
Chapter 6 –
Wardrobe and Grooming
Let’s imagine you’re
dressing for a dinner party and your child insists on wearing a glittery,
sparkling ballet tutu instead of the $80 shantung Capri pants you bought for
her. What should you do? Let her wear the tutu. Crushing her sense of whimsy
will do nothing to cultivate a sense of style for your child. It is not
necessarily a battle of wills. She is simply trying to tell you something about
herself. Listen carefully and then take the lead. Compliment her ownership of
her appearance and use it as an opportunity to open the conversation about
choices. Explain to her that she can wear the sparkly tutu but she should
understand that it is not the most appropriate thing in her closet to consider.
Tell her that this is an occasion where there is room for negotiation but that
this will not always be the case. Then unveil some awesome ideas to add to the
fun. You can show her how to further explore the topic of ballet and ballet
costumes. She can read age-appropriate books on ballet and describe her
favorite parts to you; watch documentaries on or video clips about actual child
ballerinas; recreate a scene from Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake with her dolls or
arts and crafts supplies. Introduce her to basic French ballet terms such as
pas de deux or pliè and see if she can reproduce the first five positions. Kick
off your shoes and do it with her! In future she will don her tutu with pride
because she not only earned it but because her appreciation is now informed.
More importantly, you have quieted her frustration – not her voice – and
created a platform for growth and development. With time she will find more
constructive, cooperative ways to display her individuality and creativity
because you wisely chose to not make her behavior the basis for your response.

About the

Woods Turner is an etiquette consultant, author and content contributor. She
lives in New York City and believes strong societies are built upon strong
families. She also spends way too much time analyzing James Taylor lyrics.
J. Blake Turner PhD, a
researcher in mental health and associate professor at Columbia University,
lives in New York City and is much more sophisticated than he used to be. 

18 thoughts on “Special excerpt from Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child

  1. Tara says:

    i'm so excited to share this book with all the amazing parents and caregivers out there 🙂 I hope you guys enjoy reading Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child and find something in it that takes your rock star parenting to the next level! I look forward to hearing from you with any thoughts. ideas or even suggestions you may have 🙂

  2. Tara says:

    @ Mai T.

    They say you should write the book you want to read and that was very much the case here. As an etiquette consultant I began to realize that once the basics of good manners are instilled in our children there was really no concise roadmap to get them to the next level beyond the usual books about academic or psychological success. There was really nothing out there that was covering more than one or two bases in a way that could help parents raise all around polished and sophisticated children.

  3. Tara says:

    @ Momjane
    Thank you – I love your username, btw 🙂

    Thank you – I was tempted to select the most profound part of the book but decided to share one of my favorite passages instead. So many parents struggle with their kids over things that eventually only amount to details that dissolve over time and seem silly later.

  4. Tara says:

    @ Victoria
    Thank you – it was a lot of fun writing it. A lot of interview hosts ask me about the grueling writing process and I almost feel guilty describing how enjoyable it was to delve into this subject lol.

  5. Tara says:

    Beyond Good Manners: How to Raise a Sophisticated Child is currently in an Amazon Countdown Deal promotion in honor of the Audible release on Mother's Day. The book will be $0.99 until May 9 (My late mother's birthday).

    So for a nice gift to everyone here I am offering a free Kindle copy of my book to the first 5 commenters who like this blog on facebook. Drop me a line at tarawoodsturner[at]yahoo.com and mention this post!

  6. Ally Swanson says:

    I enjoyed reading the excerpt. This book sounds like such an interesting and intriguing read! Totally can't wait to check out this book!

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