Interview with non-fiction writer A. William Benitez

Non-fiction
writer A. William Benitez is back on Reviews and Interviews. This time he’s talking about his newest book,
Relationship: Notes on Love, Mutual Respect,Boundaries, Marriage, and Divorce.

During this virtual book tour, Bill will be awarding 1 lucky commenter a $50 Amazon gift card. To be entered for a chance to win, use the form below. To increase your chances of winning, feel free to visit his other tour stops and enter there, too!
Welcome, Bill. Please tell us a little
bit about yourself.
For
more than 30 years I have operated one-person businesses. Twelve years of my
life were spent managing federally-assisted housing programs for local
government.
I established a small publishing company to publish the books and a
monthly newsletter
and did consulting and public speaking on housing
related topics for agencies and organizations in cities across the country. I
wrote and published nine guidebooks on the subject of housing rehabilitation.
When the federal
housing programs dried up I owned and operated a woodworking business for over
twenty years, first in Tampa, Florida and then in Austin, Texas. During these
years I began writing books about my experiences.


In 2007 I
established my present publishing company, Positive Imaging, LLC. To date I
have published sixteen paperback books and over a half dozen e-books.
My computer
experience dates back almost twenty years and began in response to poor
technical support for our computer. I used home study to acquire A+ and
Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer Certifications.
I was born and
raised in Tampa, Florida and moved to Austin, Texas in 1986, where I now live
with my wife, Barbara Frances.
Please tell us about your current
release.
When I decided to write this book on
relationship, my wife Barbara was surprised and cautioned me by saying that she
would not dare write such a book because it was such a varied topic with so
many nuances. That scared me because she is certainly more qualified to write
about relationship than I am. I hesitated for a while but then I jumped in.
I have written about relationship
before but was not satisfied with the results but now, for some unknown reason,
I felt ready to tackle this huge topic and feel good about this book. I don’t
see myself as an expert on relationship but I definitely have a lot to share
that may be helpful to others.
The
book contains ten chapters including What is Love, What is A Good Relationship,
Fostering and Nurturing Relationships, Harming Relationships, Mutual Respect,
Boundaries, Marriage, Breakups and Divorce, Helpful Tips, Final Thoughts, plus
a Preface and an Introduction.
What inspired you to write this book?
I was
inspired to write this book some fifteen years ago when my wife and I were
asked to talk to a group about our marriage experience. They wanted to know how
we managed to get along so well. We made the presentation and everyone enjoyed
it and there were many questions. I felt it would be a good subject for a book
and I tried to do it several times but was dissatisfied with the outcome.
Finally this year it came together and I wrote it.
Excerpt:
Mutual Respect
After several conversations about respect I realized there
might be some confusion regarding its exact meaning. It seemed like a good idea
to address that confusion and settle on a clear definition of respect before
writing this chapter. This turned out to be a task that was much easier said
than done. It seemed that mutual respect would be an “I’ll know it when I see
it topic,” and that just wasn’t good enough. I thought about it for a while and
decided that I needed to look back to my past and do a little research before
coming up with a meaning with which I was comfortable.
My first lessons in respect came from my father who
commanded respect from everyone who knew him. He strongly believed that you
never allowed anyone to take advantage of you or your family. He told me that,
if anyone did attempt to take advantage or put you down, the immediate response
had to hurt enough to ensure they would never do it again. Few people tried to
take advantage of him, and no one did it twice. That may be a form of respect,
but it seemed to cross over into fear and it didn’t seem a good lesson for
mutual respect in intimate relationships.
As I looked back, many situations with family, friends,
acquaintances, flirtations, and partners came to mind. Some were pleasant and
definitely reflected mutual respect while others not so much. It was obvious
there were many times when I could have been more respectful and brought about
a better outcome. Even though no one can change the past, it can be a source of
valuable lessons and helped to write a definition of mutual respect to share
with others.
All those experiences over the years gave me many ideas
about respect and by adding a small amount of research I realized that mutual
respect had various meanings. Based on all of this effort I was able to develop
a definition and when this book mentions respect it is based on that specific
definition. I couldn’t come up with a short definition so here is a list that
defines respect for my partner and others.
Regard your partner with consideration, appreciation, and
acceptance just as she is, not as you believe she should be.
Accept and value your partner’s point of view even if it
differs from yours.
Honor your partner’s right to privacy by not intruding,
interfering, or spying.
What exciting story are you working on
next?
I’m not
working on a book right now even though I have several topic ideas. I have
decided to focus on marketing my existing books for the rest of the year.
When did you first consider yourself a
writer?
When the
National Association of Housing and Redevelopment Officials asked me to write a
book on housing I felt certain that I was a writer. This was when I first started
writing and their request helped my confidence.
Do you write full-time? If so, what’s
your work day like? If not, what do you do other than write and how do you find
time to write?
I don’t
write full time because I have a full time job as the IT Manager for a Hyatt
Hotel. I write mostly in the afternoons, evenings, and on weekends. Since I
love to write it’s not difficult to make time for it. What is difficult is to
make time for marketing which is definitely not as enjoyable but just as
necessary.
What would you say is your interesting
writing quirk?
I’m
fortunate that I can write even with interruptions. I can be in the middle of
something and stop and then come back to the same place and move right on. It’s
a real blessing.
As a child, what did you want to be
when you grew up?
I wanted to
be an artist. I did well in art classes in school but I never developed it. I
do have good design skills and design my own covers and handle some myself
using Photoshop.
Anything additional you want to share
with the readers?
I hope that
many of them will comment as I enjoy sharing with others and it would be a
unique opportunity to discuss this subject.
All the
information in this book is based on my first-hand experiences, a small amount
of research, and discussions with other couples. I sincerely hope that you will
find it of real value in your own relationships. If you have any questions or
comments, please contact me at: bill@positive-imaging.com
Thanks, Bill! Readers, don’t forget about the giveaway! Use the form below to enter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

19 thoughts on “Interview with non-fiction writer A. William Benitez

  1. JB's Comments says:

    Not only is your book a good read with valuable insights, it helps explain how you came to be so patient and supportive of those you mentor.

    JHBaldus, Author, P.S. To The Beyond:Communicating with Your (departed)Loved Ones,JHBPressAustinTX204

  2. Joel D Canfield says:

    Lisa, thanks for hosting the good Mr. B.

    Bill, I like your definition. It's a slippery job, putting into words what we all instinctively put in the "know it when I see it" box. Well done.

    If the only people who wrote relationship books were those who knew all the answers, we wouldn't have any relationship books 😉 One thing I enjoy in Critical Conversations is how each of the authors shared lessons learned from their mistakes.

    Any author who claims to know it all about such a complex topic is fooling themselves or trying to fool us.

    You're no fool.

  3. Unknown says:

    Thanks JB, patience has always been a full time task for me so I watch to make certain that I am being patient. It doesn't work all the time but it's better because I know that I need to watch it.

  4. Unknown says:

    Joel, Thanks for posting. The definition took a long time to develop but it was essential for the book.

    With relationships as with all of life we have to be in learning mode all the time so that we do learn from our mistakes. And we will make mistakes. I've always felt that anyone who isn't making mistakes probably isn't doing anything.

  5. Unknown says:

    Good Question Skeeter, I don't believe its changed that much. I have always tried to do work that I enjoy and writing and publishing has been the most enjoyable work I have done so I'm quite happy to continue doing it.

  6. Lucretia says:

    Bill, You are truly a Man For All Seasons! You have had so many varied life experiences and written about many of those adventures. I liked it that you have gotten to the "bottom line" of respect, and it can be applied to any relationship, not just partnership and marriage. You are helping to heal the planet one relationship at a time. Keep up the good work! I look forward to your next endeavor.

  7. Sherry says:

    Rarely does one find a book that causes such deep personal introspection. I find myself returning to phrases at relevant moments in my everyday. I hope this material finds it's way into the hands of counselors and anyone wanting to have a more satisfying relationship. Great book.

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